Unfortunately he's not getting the usual "help" from Lars, who's promised everyone a foot massage today. It's probably just as well since Lars tends to drop things.
The party preparations are on temporary halt, however, because we have a serious problem in the Lair.
Som
eone (andI'm not mentioning any names)
stole the proof copy of Jo-Mama's debut book "The Watcher."In case you're confused look to the left for Evidence #1 -- the purloined book!
Missing, MISSING, I tell you! And someone must pay!
You might suspect the Golden Rooster carried the book off to the Land of Oz or even -- shudder -- to the "right coast." Or perhaps a Bandita Buddy from down south "appropriated" the proof prize. Not naming names, again, but I hear some of those southern gals have sticky fingers.
In fact, our famous Chook is NOT the culprit, but the investigator. So line up the usual suspects and let the case begin!
GR: What? What? Oh, that's right, some naughty visitor to the Lair has stolen Jo-Mama's proof of "The Watcher." Let me see, let me see (dons his Sherlock Holmes hat and whips out his magnifying glass).
Sven: Not I! I've been slaving in the kitchen for days (looks darkly at Lars). With NO help, I might add.
Lars: Don't look at me (eyes Aunty Cindy's pretty colored toes greedily). I've been playing with pinkies all day.
[Enter Gladiators Demitrius and Marcus, flashing swords.]
Jo-Mama: What about those two?
GR: Not likely. They never learned to read, just a bunch of steroid-pumped hunks (looks jealously at the Gladiators).
JM: Say it isn't so! Reading is the foundation of civilization!
GR: Whatever. (Bends over, examining a dusty spot on the end table of the reading room.) Hmmmm, looks like the book was lying here.
JM: Good grief! How can you tell MY book was there? There are millions of Bandita books around here. (Flings her arms wildly) It IS the hackey hudjson Lair, after all. Books are coming out all the time!
GR: I see dead people.
JM: What are you talking about, you crazy chook?
GR: Dead people! Aren't your books full of dead people?
JM: Well, sure, "The Watcher" is a romantic thriller, but it's not ALL about murder and mayhem. There's a very sensual love story in it. Kate and Slater have an instant connection between them, and although she's single minded to the point of annoyance, Slater's just the man to, uh . . . distract her.
Take a look at Evidence #2 -- the back cover blurb:
Forensic psychiatrist Kate Myers believes the killer of two teenage girls in Bigler County, California, is the same man who savagely murdered her twin sister over fifteen years ago. Working with a single-minded tenacity, she sets out to prove it.
Deputy Ben Slater hides his personal pain behind the job, but Kate's arrival in his county knocks his world on its axis. He wants to believe her wild theory, but the idea of a serial killer with the kind of pathology she proposes is too bizarre.
Together they work to find a killer whose roots began in a small town in Bigler county, but whose violence spread across the nation. A Janus-like killer, more monster than man, he fixates on Kate. The killer wants nothing more than to kill the "purple-eyed girl again."
[Enter Paolo, Lucius, and the Hockey Hunks, led by Zach, all bearing trays of champagne and bottle of Coke and Pepsi -- perennial rivals in the Lair]
GR: (shouting at the top of his lungs) Let the festivities begin!
AC: (Grabbing for the champagne) Give me one of those! (sniffs loudly) I hope that nasty Ermigarde isn't going to eat all the food.
GR: (Stumbles about, muttering) Clues, clues, must follows the clues.
Readers, join us in the hunt for my proof copy of "The Watcher." Who do YOU think purloined the book? One of the Banditas or Buddies? One of the Lair denizens or guests? Or someone we'd never, ever think of! Heh, heh, who's the main suspect??!!
One clever commenter who convinces me who the guilty culprit is and WHY will receive a free download of "The Watcher" when it becomes available the end of August.
Everyone who emails me a snail mail addy (jo.lewisrobertson@yahoo.com) will receive an autographed postcard of the book cover and will be entered to win a PRINT COPY of "The Watcher."
posted by Jo Robertson
